Sunday 12 August 2007
I first wrote this about six months ago while I was up late one night reading through several of the Forums dedicated to Internet Marketing. Some of the posts made me realize just how comical our industry can be at times. I’m reposting the article here because I still think some of the items below are more true than most of us want to admit.
You MIGHT be an Internet Marketer IF…….
1) You are familiar with names such as Mike Filsaime, Gary Ambrose, Joe Vitale and Willie Crawford, but you think Barack Obama is a type of sushi
2) You have more email addresses than silverware
3) You are considering replacing your office chair with a camper’s port-a-johnny because going to the bathroom takes away too much valuable computer time
4) You are actually able to convince people that they will make more money by reading emails at 5-cents a pop than getting a part-time job at Walmart
5) You actually manage to get visitors to your web page to believe that the mansion, sports car, swimming pool and yatch displayed on your site actually belong to you
6) Words such as niche, matrix, and AdSense roll off your tongue effortlessly, but you occasionally struggle to remember the names of your kids
7) You consider 2:00am a reasonable time for lunch
8) You believe spending $5000-$10000 on a particular “gurus” mentoring program is a better use of funds than spending it on a college education, or food
9) You use the term “guru” regularily
10) You spend more time in Internet Marketing discussion forums than you do in your own living room
11) You believe there are ebooks available that are actually worth $97. Or you offer a 30-page ebook and think it’s worth $97
12) All of your products are priced ending in .97 rather than .99
13) You have a large spiral-bound notebook to keep track of all your UserIDs and passwords
14) You think “Winepress” is a new type of blogging software
15) Your spouse tells you in the morning that you kept uttering the word “downline” in your sleep
16) All your “friends” on MySpace are Internet Marketers
17) You don’t see the irony of the words “bum” and “marketing” appearing in the same sentence
18) You have the Paypal support number assigned to the “1″ button on your speed dial
19) You believe people actually read every word of those mile-long columnar sales pages
20) Your family and friends suggest that you are becoming obsessive/compulsive with this Internet Marketing “thing”. You spend the next 5 days developing an “Obsessive/Compulsive Internet Marketer’s” niche website with plans to make a million using AdSense.
21) Unlike the general population, you use the word “viral” in a positive context
22) When your teenager comes home from school, he tells you he made the JV team. You ask him who his other partners are.
23) You believe firmly that your products are worth $97, $197, $297, or more, but you constantly ask others where you can buy a domain name for $1
24) You honestly believe “I want to make money” represents a valid business plan
25) When you woke up, your spouse reminded you that today is your 8-year old’s 10th birthday
26) You think a Pop Tart is a new kind of floating ad
27) You celebrate the freedom that running your own IM business from your home gives you, while you sit at your computer for 80+ hours a week
28) And finally, you understood more the 90% of the above
If you have any additional ditties you would like to add to this list of silliness, please feel free to do so in the comments.
-Ray